From the  moment I arrived in Helsinki three months ago, there were murmurs and raised eyebrows: “Will you be here for Vappu?” and “Have you heard about Vappu yet?” and “Did you bring a spare liver for Vappu?” Several people told me to wear galoshes because between April 30 and May 1 the streets will be running with pee, puke, and beer. Others fled the country for the weekend.

Given the conspiratorial tones surrounding Vappu, I half-expected cars set ablaze and Molotv cocktails flying through the air. But it’s more like a Saturday night on steroids and a few hits of bad acid. Beyond that, I’m at a loss to describe Vappu to you. There’s no handy American analogy. Try Mardi Gras in New Orleans without the music and parade. Or New Year’s Eve in Times Square without the countdown to a new year. Maybe spring break on the Florida coast without the beach or the girls going wild. But none of these are quite right. Vappu is very much its own thing with overheated crowds, sailor hats, students dangling from a statue, lots of balloons, people running around in restaurants singing songs, packs of wild teenagers, and more liquor than Mardi Gras, New Year’s Eve, and spring break combined.

Originating from an odd cocktail of Labor Day functions, student graduation (those are traditional student caps, not sailor hats), and an ancient pagan holiday called Walpurgis Night, today’s Vappu is a boozy coming-of-spring riot that sweeps up the whole town. The evening is spent buying balloons, fighting through crowds, eating ice cream, and drinking in parks — and it’s a fun jolt at first, feeling the city give itself over to chaos for the evening. By two in the morning, however, the scene had taken a dark turn. I’ve never seen so many people in such terrible shape; this wasn’t just drunk, it was like how are you still standing? Or not: the curbside of my street was lined with people heaving, laughing, crying, and hollering.

I saw a girl on her hands and knees drinking from a puddle and the general mood seemed to be “Leave her alone, it’s Vappu.”

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Dungen – Festival
from Ta Det Lugnt. Subliminal Sounds, 2004 | buy mp3s
Brilliant fuzzed-out Swedish psychedelic rock with an album title that offers some sound advice to its neighbor for the weekend: take it easy.

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The following morning, we file through the streets towards Kaivopuisto for a picnic in the park with bags of food in hand and broken glass crunching underfoot. A picnic in the park. This sounds bucolic and relaxing, perhaps a green lawn dotted with a few couples and families on gingham blankets and the occasional game of frisbee. No. Everybody in the city is here: families, friends, children, people still running on last night’s fumes, all gridlocked and smashed together.

Upon arrival, the whole scene is a claustrophobic mess. But then you spot some friends and stake out a small patch of lawn. You share some food and trade a few stories and lay in the sun, thinking about how it might be warm someday (but not today) and slowly the concept of a city blowing off some steam and regrouping for cider and sausages makes beautiful sense.

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Spiritualized – Lay Back in the Sun
from Pure Phase. Dedicated, 1995 | buy it

Quick game: find the two men peeing in the above photograph.